Ok. So we had our match versus VJ yesterday and I have to say something. I sucked.

Went for school as usual in the morning, left after history lecture. Changed and stuff went to TSH. Warmed up, our vice-captain passed me the captain's band. (In case you didn't know, our captain withdrew from the team 1 week ago) I was bloody nervous like damn. It is my first JC competition after all, wearing the Meridian name and all that. Our coach gave us our pre-match briefing and we went in to warm up our shots. Refree blew the whistle, game's about to start.

1st period. I took face off. I was distracted by the opponent's stick. It was the one I wanted to buy so bad, so I just said, "Nice stick." She ignored me. It began very sloppy. Shots were off target, defence was horrible. The VJ girls wanted the ball very bad, you can tell from their faces. The referee was bloody annoying. You can tell they're new by how they ref. I got slashed a million times and not once was I given a free hit. I got obstructed by a VJ girl that deserved 2 mins on the bloody bench but no, they chose to be blind and ignore it. I finally lost my temper at the bloody ref and shouted with no mercy at him. Syida scored a gorgeous rebound goal in the 1st period. Told ya you can do it =) and my partner Tabitha scored 2.

2nd period. I was pumping the ball in front of the goal posts using my back hand. My partner had much difficulty putting it into the goal. I tried several shots, but the VJ girls were seriously crowding the area and it kept hitting them. I even made one get hit by the ball on her face. Sorry. I was getting very tired, my fitness level has hit a new low. The lack of physical training due to mid-years is taking its toll on me. Panting for breath, coming in very tired. More goals by us, but we conceeded 2 goals. The first one was a good shot by the VJ player. Our fault was we didn't come back to defend. And her shot was a curve, went in between the keeper's head and the goal post. The second one was a bloody easy shot. The ball practically rolled into the goalpost. Our fault for not marking the players properly.

3rd period. I'm getting sick of this. Tabitha scored another goal, Pearlin 2. Referee was hitting my very last nerve. Held my tongue in fear something bad comes out. Final whistle blew, we won. 6-2. Surprisingly, we weren't so happy. Sure we won, but it felt like we didn't play our best. I took the girls for the cheers and made them shake hands with the referee. No I'm not sucking up. It just felt appropriate to do so. Sure they suck, but there's nothing we can do about it. They have the final call. I felt it was unfair for SFA to put newly certified referees in the 'A' division. They should start small, 3-a-side games or primary school competitions. Even 'C' division if you have to. 'A' division is like almost the league, Izzah said they've been there for quite a while. So please reconsider.

We got shouted at quite lot by our coach. But remember she's doing this because it's this silly mistakes that cause us to conceed. Some of you didn't get to play. Don't be disheartened. I know it sounds easy for me to say cause I was playing, but if it's for the better of the team, why not? I've been benched so many times, yeah it did get on my nerves. But look where I am now. People have been saying I've improved in such a short period of time. So will you guys. So use this as a boost to prove yourself that you are worthy of playing. It's not easy, but if you overcome it, she'll see you in a different light. Who knows, you'll even be in the 1st line up.

I personally feel as though I don't deserve to be in the 1st line. I was passing more than shooting. My ex-coach was there, my parents, friends. I let them all down. But you know what? I won't let this set me back. Our next game is against MI. Tough opponents, but we can beat them. Pass their forwards and it's a 4 v 2 situation. I won't allow this game to set me back. Luck wasn't on my side yesterday, a lot of my shots were hitting the posts but I will use this and make it better. I'll make my shots harder, more often and on target. I also have to motivate the girls more. I shouldn't let the ref get in my train of thought. Got to focus and get the bloody ball into the goalpost. Motivate myself, the girls and everyone, even the coach.

Other than that, the guys played really well. They trashed NJC 12-0. So proud of them.

Our next game is versus MI on thursday. I can't remember if it's at 12.45 or 2. TSH again. Do come down if you have the time. Just don't call my name and distract me please? Really appreciate it. Thanks. Following one's on friday at 3. Versus YJ and my ex-coach.

Take care people, chaos.